[ 001 ] [ Audio ]

[dontgiveafock]

[The feed kicks in to the sound of a man clearing his throat. He seems a little unsure of what he's about to say.]

Hullo, hullo. Welcome newcomers.

[Man, what a classy intro that was. So smooth, Joseph!]

For those of y'that I haven't met, my name is Joe. I man the kitchen here and I'm the one that put together the shit-awful feast you had on your first night here.

M'sorry fer that. At the time I was short staffed, unprepared and tired as fock. The good news, is that I've caught up on my beauty sleep and whatever I make from here on in sure as hell won't suck quite so bad.

Y'can find me in the kitchens more often than not, otherwise, try the bar or out by the lake. If any of you have any cookin' experience or want to help out, I'd more than welcome it. The more help I get, the better yer food is gonna be.

[Silence falls while Joe runs over what he's just said.]

Right. I think that's about it. Come say hello or somethin'.

[Fin.]

Comments

[Text]

[purrtndyfuntms.livejournal.com]

:33 < *a very hungry kitty stalks through the kitchen and wonders where all the fursome beasts are!*

[Text]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

...What? You saying that you're in my kitchen?

[Text]

[purrtndyfuntms.livejournal.com]

:33 < *ac purrks up at the sound of the man-humans voice and begins to slowly cr33p towards him*

[Audio]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[Give him a moment to glance paranoidly over his shoulder.]

Right. Whoever you are, come on out.

[Don't make him get the spatula.]

Audio

[brynkitten]

[The feast wasn't that bad to Bryn, but then she hadn't had soup or bread in a few years now. Absence made the stomach not so picky.

That the food could be better was something that held Bryn's interest.]

I don't know how to cook at all but I could learn or wash dishes if it would help.

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[Oh hello Miss... Joe smirks at the comm.]

If y'want, you can come and check the place out and we'll see what suits ye to do.

[But the prospect of a dishwasher, anda willing one at that? God that sounds wonderful.]

What's yer name, lass?

Audio

[brynkitten]

I can do that...if you'll tell me where it is.

[Hi, Bryn has no idea how to find her way around here still.]

You can call me Bryn.

[It pops out a bit more easily this time than with Isabel or Sycora. Joe doesn't exactly make her feel obligated to give a formal reply.]

And yourself?

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Right. Directions.

[It's been a while since he's had to give them.]

You remember the Great Hall where we had our pitiful feast meet and greet session?

[Joe might have been asleep for most of it...]

First floor of that buildin'. You can't miss it. Lemme know if I need to narrow it down better than that.

Audio

[onlyonemysize.livejournal.com]

I can cook.

[Well sort of 83. She knows plenty of recipes! She's just not going to be much help in the actual preparation.]

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah? Good to hear it.

[Recipes are more than welcome! Joe's been getting kind of bored with what's on offer so anything new is cool.]

Got a name, girlie? Yer welcome to come to the kitchen and check things out.

Audio

[onlyonemysize.livejournal.com]

My name is Thumbelina.

[Hm.]

Where is the kitchen?

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Thumbelina? Not a name I've heard before but it's a pretty one.

[Ever the charmer.]

D'ya remember the Great Hall where we had the welcomin' feast the night you got here? First floor of that buildin'.

[drinkuntilidie.livejournal.com]

Joe! I nevah t'ought I'd be so happy to hear joor voice mon.

[Finally, someone he knows. His luck must be starting to turn. And if he's here then...]

Have joo seen Nel? Can't find her anywhere mon.

i am a terrible person.

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[Wait. What. Joe gives the journal a baffled look.]

Hold on a second there, brother. Y'sayin' you know me? What's yer name?

[He's wracking his brain trying to think of a 'Nel' or someone with this accent in his past. Joe turns up a blank.]

so I am

[drinkuntilidie.livejournal.com]

[Kevas's heart jumps into his throat. Oh please tell him that Joe is just hungover or something.]

Yeah I be knowin' joo mon. We worked in da same damn restaurant toggedah. We worked wid Nel. Loa mon, how can joo fuhget her!?

[Maybe Kevas can understand Joe forgetting who he is but Nel? Hell, Kevas couldn't forget her even if he tried.]

/highfive!

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[Silence falls on Joe's side of the conversation, guilt for not remembering someone he himself has never actually met.]

M'sorry lad. I really am. I don't know this Nel yer talkin' about. Where did we work together?

[Surely he'd remember an accent like that.]

[Text]

[thii2ii22tupiid]

you mean you can actually make real food two?

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Tee-oh-oh. Not Tee-doubleyew-oh.

[Damn kids these days. None of them can spell. B|]

Aye, I can make real food. What kinda thing are you after?

text 4 eva

[thii2ii22tupiid]

ii know how two 2pell, a22hole.

*He just ignores it for certain words.*

ii don't know. ii ju2t wanted two make 2ure that 2hiit wa2n't what human2 con2iidered food.

[Audio]

[allthesame2me]

[How were there some many people here with the best accents?! It takes a false start or two, but Alex figures out the whole audio entry thing after a moment, his soft tenor piping in fairly eagerly.]

My dad taught me a few things around the kitchen and I actually enjoy doing them. Cooking, cleaning up .. what have you. I'm a regular Martha Stewart with all that happy homemaking stuff. I'd be more than happy to give a helping hand if you'd like..

[Hell he'd be downright thrilled to help. He didn't know what else to do with his time, so he might as well keep himself busy.]

[Audio]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[Joe's ego would just love to hear all about how lovely his accent is. Joe grins at the journal.]

Sounds like yer just the person I'm lookin' for then. C'mon over to the kitchens and we'll see what we can work out. I'm there now, will be for the rest of the mornin'.

[He's kinda relieved at the offers of help he's getting. Maybe this new batch isn't so bad after all.]

What's yer name?

[Audio]

[allthesame2me]

[Oh, dont you worry, Joe. If there is one thing the boy does quite well, its compliment. There is a smile evident in his tone when he speaks next.]

Name's Alex .. I'll be 'round shortly.

[And off he goes, letting his senses do the leading to the kitchen. Once there, he looks around, giving a knock on the doorway.]

Hello? Anyone here? Joe?

[text]

[halfbrokenwings.livejournal.com]

[Much to her own chagrin, her stomach helped in motivating Isabella into figuring out how to use the record. The other prominent reasoning for her contacting him, was remembering how worn out he was the night before. That was a big task, on short notice, for one man. ]

If you still needed help, sir, I can offer assistance? I am not much of a cook but, I can turn a spit and not burn the meat.

[Audio]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Any help is good help, lass. Yer welcome to come check the place out if you want?

I'm there now. Always happy to have visitors.

[Text]

[halfbrokenwings.livejournal.com]

[She smiles a grin that no one can see at the journal. Many hands make light work, as the saying would go.]

I will be there, sir, very soon or thereabouts. I am glad that I may be of assistance to you.

[She's pretty sure she read the directions of where the kitchen is in the commentary before. It shouldn't be too hard to find. ]