[ 001 ] [ Audio ]

[dontgiveafock]

[The feed kicks in to the sound of a man clearing his throat. He seems a little unsure of what he's about to say.]

Hullo, hullo. Welcome newcomers.

[Man, what a classy intro that was. So smooth, Joseph!]

For those of y'that I haven't met, my name is Joe. I man the kitchen here and I'm the one that put together the shit-awful feast you had on your first night here.

M'sorry fer that. At the time I was short staffed, unprepared and tired as fock. The good news, is that I've caught up on my beauty sleep and whatever I make from here on in sure as hell won't suck quite so bad.

Y'can find me in the kitchens more often than not, otherwise, try the bar or out by the lake. If any of you have any cookin' experience or want to help out, I'd more than welcome it. The more help I get, the better yer food is gonna be.

[Silence falls while Joe runs over what he's just said.]

Right. I think that's about it. Come say hello or somethin'.

[Fin.]

Comments

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah? Good to hear it.

[Recipes are more than welcome! Joe's been getting kind of bored with what's on offer so anything new is cool.]

Got a name, girlie? Yer welcome to come to the kitchen and check things out.

Audio

[onlyonemysize.livejournal.com]

My name is Thumbelina.

[Hm.]

Where is the kitchen?

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Thumbelina? Not a name I've heard before but it's a pretty one.

[Ever the charmer.]

D'ya remember the Great Hall where we had the welcomin' feast the night you got here? First floor of that buildin'.

Audio

[onlyonemysize.livejournal.com]

Okay! I'm coming.

[...]

Just please don't step on me.

Audio

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Step on? Now why would I want to do that?

[Joe can't help but wonder if she's a dwarf or something.]

ActionSpam? :D?

[onlyonemysize.livejournal.com]

[Well you're about to find out, Joe! It takes probably a lot longer than Joe expects for her to get there. But in a moment, there's a little girl - a literal little girl - coming into the kitchen. She inches up to the big person she assumes is Joe and waves her arms.]

Down here!

ActionSpam!

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[It takes him a moment to trace the voice, Joe frowning as he looks around before catching sight of the flailing young lady in the corner of his eye.

Joe stares.]

Uh... holy fock.

[And crouches.]

I see what y'mean about gettin' stomped on.

[Joe offers a hand for her to step on to, if she chooses.]

ActionSpam!

[onlyonemysize.livejournal.com]

[She steps into his hand and wraps an arm around his thumb to hold on.]

Hello. My mother taught me a lot of different recipes. I don't know how much help cooking it though.

ActionSpam!

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[Trying. Not. To. Stare.]

Recipes are always good.

[Joe grins at her.]

I've been workin' from what I know and I get recipes from the library every now and then, but it's the stuff taught by someone's Ma that's always the best.

[He moves his hand so that she can move to the benchtop if she wants to. Joe's already plotting some kind of way to let her move around the kitchen easier.]

I'd be more than happy to learn a few new things off ya, Thumbelina.