[ 001 ] [ Audio ]

[dontgiveafock]

[The feed kicks in to the sound of a man clearing his throat. He seems a little unsure of what he's about to say.]

Hullo, hullo. Welcome newcomers.

[Man, what a classy intro that was. So smooth, Joseph!]

For those of y'that I haven't met, my name is Joe. I man the kitchen here and I'm the one that put together the shit-awful feast you had on your first night here.

M'sorry fer that. At the time I was short staffed, unprepared and tired as fock. The good news, is that I've caught up on my beauty sleep and whatever I make from here on in sure as hell won't suck quite so bad.

Y'can find me in the kitchens more often than not, otherwise, try the bar or out by the lake. If any of you have any cookin' experience or want to help out, I'd more than welcome it. The more help I get, the better yer food is gonna be.

[Silence falls while Joe runs over what he's just said.]

Right. I think that's about it. Come say hello or somethin'.

[Fin.]

Comments

[Text]

[purrtndyfuntms.livejournal.com]

:33 < *ac purrks up at the sound of the man-humans voice and begins to slowly cr33p towards him*

[Audio]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[Give him a moment to glance paranoidly over his shoulder.]

Right. Whoever you are, come on out.

[Don't make him get the spatula.]

[Text]

[purrtndyfuntms.livejournal.com]

:33 < *ac has found a dead hoofbeast and has slashed it open with her sharp claws so that she can f33d! she will share the hoofbeast with the man-human if he tells her where she can find the furocious beasts!*

[Except that Nepeta has done no such thing. She is back in her room, testing her new record!]

[Audio]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Wait you... killed Bessie?

[Dammit stranger! That was dinner for the night! Joe paces the kitchen, eager to find whoever or whatever it is that's clearly fucking with him.]

Right. I'll share the hoofbeast if yer offerin'. What kinda beastie are y'after?

[Text]

[purrtndyfuntms.livejournal.com]

:33 < whats a bessie?

:33 < uh *she says*

[Audio]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

[What's a Bessie? Well. Here's his chance. Joe grins.]

Best you beware the Bessie, lass. They're four legged creatures that roam the outer bailey, breathin' fire and shootin' lasers at any who get too close.

[Pause.]

They're also pretty darn important so I'll not have ye killin' my pets without good reason, y'hear?

[Text]

[purrtndyfuntms.livejournal.com]

:33 < :DD can i eat them?

:33 < *ac says*

:33 < *she looks pawsitively ecstatic to hunt these furry fursome creatures!*

[Audio]

[dontgiveafock.livejournal.com]

Oh you can eat them alright, but I wouldn't go alone.

[He will make you come out of hiding if it's the last thing he does!]

You want to go hunt a Bessie with me?